Have you ever met a guy, a particularly gorgeous one! and immediately attempted to be what you believe he desires in a partner, resulting in you acting completely out of character?
I know I have, feigning interest in some obscure sport or cars as if they were the most exciting thing in the world. And then if you do start dating, however wonderful it may be initially, you come to to a point when you or he realizes you have absolutely nothing in common.
This inevitably leads to the trauma of a break up and you start the circuit all over again.
Wouldn’t it be fantastic to have greater control over your love life and reduce the number of false starts…
It's All About Chemistry
The good news is you’re not alone in this behaviour and it’s not entirely your fault. It’s mainly due to those hormones that run riot in your body when you are attracted to someone.
- Cortisol - Stress Hormone
- Dopamine - Seeks out pleasure
- Norepinephrine - Makes you highly excitable
- Serotonin - A mood stabilizer
When you feel this attraction, your serotonin drops as your cortisol levels rise. This makes your body pump out dopamine which in turn produces norepinephrine.
In other words, all the hormones that make you anxious and energetic are high and the ones that keep you stable, low, and that is why you can find yourself doing and saying crazy things.
As if that is not enough you then add to this all the other beliefs you may have about finding the right guy; e.g. You’re too fat, too thin, don’t know what to say, you should be married by a certain age… The list goes on and on. But don't despair there is hope...
This Is Your Year For Change
So now we know why we behave the way we do I suggest that we make this year a year for change. Let’s make this year all about you. It is a wise saying “you cannot love anyone else if you don’t love yourself.” And we need to pay heed to this.
Spend this year falling in love with your life, do things you want to do and don’t be afraid to say no to people. And whatever you do, do not compare your love life to anyone else’s. We never know other peoples stories so should not model our lives on theirs.
Something quite magical happens when you fall in love with yourself and accept your life as it is. You find yourself meeting the right kind of people and feel comfortable being yourself, speaking your truth. Yes, you will still get the hormone ups and downs, but you will have much more control over your behavior.
Be yourself and the right people will love you
9 Lessons for Your Perfect Life
Follow the 9 steps below and enjoy every single moment of your life.
No one is perfect!
I know we would all like a better body, hair, sense of humor….. Whatever! But the sooner we can accept that we are not and never will be perfect the better. If you can truly let go of this concept of perfection, your world will change and you will start to love yourself just as you are.
It's Not Personal
What other people say and do is a projection of their reality, not yours. When you do not take the opinions and actions of others personally, you do not become a victim of needless suffering. Others will always try to give you advice on what you should do with your life and it’s okay to listen to people that you trust and respect. If the advice feels good to you by all means follow it, but remember that the only person who knows what is truly right for you - is YOU.
Assumptions are Dangerous
We all think we know what is going on in someone else’s head which leads us to make a decision about what is happening as if it’s a fact. The truth is we can never know what another is truly thinking and our assumption could be very wrong. To eliminate these assumptions, always communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. Have courage to ask questions and express what you really want. If you do not understand what a person is saying to you ask for clarification.
Stand Up for Yourself
Be comfortable standing up for yourself when you are right, and if you are wrong, do not be afraid to apologize. Don’t waste time with people who bring you down or be-little you. Remember you do not need to explain your life to anybody if you don’t want to. There is no ‘normal’ so stop comparing your life and relationships to others. The time-line of your love life is right for you, whatever happens is exactly what needs to happen for you.
Most of the time we are communicating with others we are rarely fully present. While they are talking we are thinking about other things, or deciding what we are going to say back to them instead of really listening to what they are telling us. I know you have experienced this yourself, talking to somebody and you can tell by looking at them that they are not listening to a word you are saying. It makes you feel disconnected. When you are with someone you care about, be there for them, really listen to what they are saying. Do not multi-task, you do not need to keep glancing at your phone, it is not going anywhere. Always give the person your full undivided attention.
Push Your Limits
Most people do not move outside of their comfort zone, but if you want to reach new heights, you need to do things that make you uncomfortable. This is the way to get to know yourself and what you are capable of. (I can assure you it is so much more than you ever thought you could achieve.) Taking your love life as an example, if you want to fall in love, sometimes you have to take risks. Go and tell that person you admire that you like them if they like you too that’s great - see what develops. Sometimes you will have to face rejection, but that’s okay too, it’s all part of the learning process.
It is so easy to take everything in our lives for granted, but people who take the time to show their gratitude obtain a huge advantage in many areas of their life. Showing gratitude can:
- Increase Mental Strength
- Improve Self Esteem
- Give You Better Quality Sleep
- Increase Your Exercise Abilities
- Build Stronger Relationships
- Improve Your Health
The more you search for gratitude the more you will realize just how much goodness you already have in your life. To discover ways to show your gratitude and download a free gratitude journal click the button below
Never Stop Learning
After a hard day at work it is so tempting to simply crash out in front of the TV or spend hours scrolling through Facebook etc. It’s okay to do that once in a while to completely switch off, but your mind needs stimulation, it needs to learn new things. Challenge yourself to learn, watch documentaries, take up a new hobby, read interesting books anything that adds more depth to your life. Learning gives your self confidence an enormous boost. If you have an internet connection, you have access to amazing learning experiences.
Give & Receive Love
Remember that everybody is just as fragile as you are. We all need kind words or sometimes just a smile is enough. When you share love with everybody you come into contact with there is more love to go round. And don’t forget to let people love you back, accept their kind words and gestures - you deserve them.
The only person who knows what is truly right for you - is YOU.
You Have Every Right To Live Your Life The Way You Want
Happiness, Joy and abundance is your birthright - Claim them and be yourself .
Make this your year. Learn to love yourself and your life, do what you want to do and don’t look back. Trust that the perfect guy for you is out there and will fall in love with you just as you are.
Print out your Perfect Life Infographic below and place it somewhere prominent - Live by it!